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Family Matters

5 Reasons I'm Not Ready for Back to School

August 29th, 2016

By Chris Reeve

My daughter goes to grade 1 this year and has talked to me a few times about being nervous but mostly excited to make new friends and learn new things. School supplies were tackled back a few weeks ago, the first day of school outfit is all picked out and we've even read The Night Before First Grade a few times before bed. I tell her I totally understand, she's going to do great and have so much fun, meanwhile, I'm secretly dreading every second we get closer to the first day.

1.  I'm not ready for summer to be over. I feel like we have to milk every drop of summer in Alberta and I don't know if we did that. I'm a work at home mom and not quite having that balance thing figured out yet, there were beautiful days we spent mostly inside. *GASP* I know! We did get out a bit, a short camping trip, day trip to a lake, bus/LRT rides to festivals and the Leg grounds, but there are things I wanted to do with them that didn't get done. Is it too late? We still have the weekends I guess....

2. The driving. Being a work at home mom, I drive the kids back and forth to school. This year that means every weekday morning elementary and three days per week playschool drop off. Then Playschool pick-up right before lunch three days a week and every day elementary pick up around three pm. This may very well be viewed as pretty lazy, I mean it's just driving but I hate winter driving especially. I've always lived in Alberta and have had my license since I was 20, you would think it would get easier every year but I still dread it. Sometimes it feels like I spend the whole day driving back and forth.

3. The busy, Oh the busy. After a summer of come and go as we please we've got to get back on that schedule. We've limited the kiddos to one activity each so it won't be SO bad but that means more driving (see #2). Plus having somewhere to be after being in school, or on the weekend. I know so many parents who seem to always have somewhere to be and I just don't know how they do it. I feel like I would be way too much of a stress case, I need some downtime, hence why I love summer.

4. She will be gone for 7hrs...every weekday. I started working from home when she was one year old. Other than short periods of time like playschool, grannie watching them or having a babysitter over on date night, she's always been with me. I"ve been incredibly lucky to be able to be with her all the time, I know this. Yes, I enjoy my breaks from the kids just like anyone else. Yes, not having to be referee all day will be welcome and I do know how good the independence will be. Selfishly though I'll miss being distracted by a cute little superhero song she created or overhearing a conversation she has with her brother during the day. I'll miss breaking for lunch with her, and just being able to go hug her anytime I feel like it.

5. I'm scared. When she's with me, I am in charge of keeping her safe. Now I have to trust others to do so, we all do. Many before me have done so successfully, but we all watch the news, and the exceptions to the rule are what stick in my head. I told friends I'm going to be that mom. The mom who swings by the school yard at mid-day recess just to see if I can spot her. I'm naturally an anxious person and I've worked to be better but this whole all day at school thing is really dredging up my worries. I just can't seem to shake the fears.

Am I the only one who feels this way? I don't think so. I will of course put on the brave face and tamp down the anxiety when we chat about this new chapter in her life. Change is good, independence is awesome and deep down I know she's ready. I just need to catch up to her. 

Chris Reeve is a wife and mom of 3, 1 boy, 1 girl, 1 fur baby. She enjoys Netflix, red wine, and sunshine. 

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